mage67 (mage67) wrote,

What can stop all the potential cheating?

dhjelm pointed out that the Drudge Report reported that Kerry pulled something out of his coat as he was approaching the podium in the first debate. Here is the close up video. After viewing it several times, I still can't be sure what it is.

I relayed a story that Bush had a rectangular bulge in the back of his jacket that his campaign could not properly explain, that many people strongly suspect is a radio transmiter to help him out.

While stricter debate rules are already in place, a loophole was already found when Bush got rebuttal debate time from Charles Gibson in spite of the rules and Gibson's objections. Kerry then had to follow suit and also break the rules or else Bush would have an advantage.

The question of cheating may never be known to us. However, can we learn from this and prevent it from happening again?

What can should be done to prevent possible cheating in these debates? (check all you'd like to see that might help)

Have each candidate strip searched thoroughly, including a deep body cavity probe. Make sure no one has any contraband.
Instead of the new buzzer system to keep candidates from talking too long, we should have them hooked up to electric shock equipment. It can be activated automatically while tied to a timer or it can also be activated at the moderator's discretion.
Same rules for electronic shock equipment above, except that it can be activated if a majority of internet viewers deem it appropriate. (Of course the candidates will probably be getting non-stop shocks this way)
Add a constitutional amendment that says you lose an electoral vote every time you lie in the debate or get a fact wrong. What is a lie or an incorrect fact can be judged by the voters independently at election time without mention as to who said it.
Have a recorded voice of Dana Carvey imitating John McLaughlin yelling "Wrong!" everytime a candidate misleads, lies or is incorrect. This can be activated by the moderator at his discretion.
Same rules for the "Wrong!" message above, except that it can be activated if a majority of internet viewers deem it appropriate using whatever standards them deem fit.
Hook up the candidates to lie detectors. Their results must be seen in a small seperate screen below the candidates so the public can monitor them.
Can't we just give them boxing gloves and have them fight it out? If the site of senior citizens in boxing shorts is too scary, pistols can be substituted. If a duel was good enough for our founding fathers, it's good enough for them.
Nothing can stop them from cheating. However, I want a candidate who is wily and can outfox his opponents as long as he's working in my interests.

Do you have a suggestion humorous or otherwise?
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