mage67 (mage67) wrote,

My Evil Consulting Assigment

Here's the history on the computer job consulting gig I have at an investment bank

There's a little bit of ranting here, but hopefully you'll find it entertaining.

To get the job they made me take three one-hour tests right away and I passed them all with top marks. This happens in May 2005. Then they made me wait another month for a huge test to take that almost no one passes. I took this test with 11 people and they all failed except me. I astonish everyone by getting 100% on it. No one had ever done that before. The previous record score was 92%. The passing score is 80%.

However I can't get the job without taking their training class. They keep me waiting another 2 months since they can't find enough people who can pass these tests to fill up a small class. I get lied to a lot during this 3 months wait total that I'm gonna get the job any day now.

My consulting agency begs me to train people to pass this test since they can't find enough people and that they'd pay me for it. I don't like the idea because I figure I don't need people trying to get my billable hours. However I can't get any billable hours unless more people can pass this test, so I finally agree to this. I even get them a computer room for them to train at my computer club and save them a ton of money because now they don't have to build a computer room at their office. I tell the consulting agency that they should pay for year memberships for each student to recompense the club (only $45 each) and they happily agree. That is an extremely cheap price for the hours they used that room. However (unknown to me) they tell the students they have to pay it. I figure this out when I see them writing checks on the day I train them. When I find that out I'm utterly disgusted at the consulting agency. They made the students pay for a job they might not have gotten. I saved them a couple of thousand dollars, but they thought they could save even more money by being utter bastards. All my students pass anyway thanks to me and now the class can begin. However I decided if they ever asked me to do this again, I would refuse.

Then I have to take a training class to learn the material the investment bank's way. At least I get paid for this, but at a low rate. The instructor was good at least, but I already knew all he had to teach anyway except the way they do things. I even teach the instructor a few things and he appreciates that I didn't show him up.

Now I'm finally in and after two weeks they cut my billable hours by 30%. They do this with no one else. I'm told it's because of the shift I work (it requires special skills that are needed and I happen to be the only one in that niche). While I have all these skills, I haven't learned it their way and I have to wait for another class. I ask to be transferred to another shift and I'm lied to that there is no room available on other shifts. I confirm this is a lie, but it does no good of course. I find a way to take computer tutorials finally that take months to do on my down time. I pass those easily, but they're very time consuming and I learned nothing new from them.

Then they add a new extra skill I have acquire in the middle suddenly to get my hours back. I already have this skill, but again not in their way. I finally complete that this week.

Now as I'm about to get back my billable hours they put it on hold at the very last minute. Evidently they tell me someone tried to take my chair and I mentioned it to him briefly in one sentence "Hey that's my chair". This was so offensive to that person I was told that they were determined to get me fired and complained to my manager and I got yelled at by my consulting agency that this was an unpardonable offense.

Obviously I don't believe this. I try to imagine a total stranger I don't remember who is so offended over my one sentence that he's determined to destroy me and a manager who takes this seriously. It defies even my imagination so this is obviously a total lie. It's an extremely poor excuse to not give what was promised to me that everyone else on this job has so that they can save money. Most of the people who got hired with me have now left either on their own or they were asked to leave.

I originally wanted to take a different shift, but my consulting agency forcefully pushed the one I'm on and promised me it was better. While there is room on other shifts, the management is lying that there isn't. For all this to happen means my consulting agency utterly betrayed me and knew this would happen. The probably got paid by the investment bank to set this up.

I found out the investment bank has a contract with car service drivers and they pay the car service companies extra to pay the drivers less. All the drivers know this and avoid picking up people from this investment bank if they can. However if they refuse an assignment, they could get fired. So they probably did something similar with me.

My managers also lied to me and had to betray me for this to happen. At least 5 people all had to be in on this for this to work. I just fell into a niche accidentally and they took utter advantage of it in the most ruthless manner possible.

So now as a result they can give me more work due to my increased skill set at the same pay. It is obvious that if I get close to getting my billable hours back again they will make up a reason not to give them to me. I'll have to look for other jobs while I try to rectify all this. At least it's completely confirmed that they are all utter scoundrels and never to be trusted even if they told me if water is wet. It also confirms I must be an amazingly flawless employee if this is the worst dirt they could find on me.
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